Missing
by KuramaKitty
Summary: A songfic based on the song Missing by Evanescence. One-sided HieiXOC. Not sure what else I can add to that.


I ran from the huge castle-like building behind me without so much as a glance back. I just couldn't go back there again. Not again. Not to face the one person who I'd ever loved with his newly-found girlfriend.

That isn't even the hardest part. Not the fact that he'd moved on, not watching the constant show of unique affection he gives in his own way.

_Please, please forgive me,_

_But I won't be home again._

_Maybe someday you'll look up,_

_And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:_

_"Isn't something missing?"_

The hardest part is looking into his eyes and realizing that not a glimmer of recognization shines in them when he looks at me. He hides his emotions well, but I'd been around him enough to pick out the tiny hints of emotions in those beautiful crimson eyes of his. Or lack of them.

I suppose I shouldn't be so surprised. What am I, but a ordinary light demon? My blonde hair: not very well taken care of, not very silky; my skin: not soft nor smooth; my gray eyes: not very captivating. I mean, let's face it, I'm not pretty, I can't throw a punch to save my life, I have no extraordinary talents, even my healing powers - which are the only reason that I've been getting three square meals a day and a bed - are mediocre! Only the basics! Cuts, scrapes, twisted ankles, that's about all I can do. Not very helpful to four Spirit Detectives who are constantly showing up with deep cuts, stab wounds, broken bones, serious burns.

I'm basically useless. It shouldn't be so much of a surprise to anyone that he completely forgot me.

_You won't cry for my absence, I know -_

_You forgot me long ago._

_Am I that unimportant...?_

_Am I so insignificant...?_

_Isn't something missing?_

_Isn't someone missing me?_

I had actually known that all my life. I knew I wasn't anything special: just another light demon.

Then I met him.

I had thought we were a lot alike. Neither of us had ever fit in wherever we were, neither of us were necessarily social, neither of us really thought we had a purpose in life.

A lot of people had heard of him. Actually, everyone had heard of him. Everyone thought he was just this monster who killed anyone he came across. It wasn't true. He was just kind of... sad, even though anyone else would just describe him as angry. I had hoped I would be the light who drove away the darkness surrounding him, and I thought I did. I guess not.

As time passed, and he stayed around, I had no doubt in my mind that I loved him. Obviously, he didn't feel the same way.

_Even though I'm the sacrifice,_

_You won't try for me, not now._

_Though I'd die to know you love me,_

_I'm all alone._

_Isn't someone missing me?_

So why did he show me affection? Why did he kiss me with so much convincing love that I'd finally thought he was the one for me?

Maybe I had misread everything.

Maybe I didn't know him as much I thought I did.

I guess his new girlfriend knows him better than me. Makes sense, she knows him in a way I couldn't ever, so naturally he'd lean toward her.

I just wish he hadn't forgot me. That hurts more than anything else.

So I run from him, my home, everything, not being able to stand the way he looks at me; how he looks at me, yet remembers nothing about me.

Tears stream down my face as that thought echos through my mind again and again.

_Please, please forgive me,_

_But I won't be home again._

_I know what you do to yourself,_

_I breathe deep and cry out,_

_"Isn't something missing?_

_Isn't someone missing me?"_

My foot catches an upturned root of a tree, snapping me out of my trip down Memory Lane. I land rather hard on the ground, my cheek grazing against something, causing a thin line of blood to rise to the surface of my skin and drip down my face, mixing with my tears.

I lie there on the ground for a long time, sobbing and crying my eyes out. After I calm down, I look up and realize that there's a portal to the Makai around here somewhere. I stand up unsteadily and search around for it. Sometimes Lord Koenma would send me to the Makai to search for some basic herbs they were running out of and didn't have time to wait for a shipment to come in, so I would use this portal. I push a bush aside as I see a tiny swirling blue portal on the ground, just enough for me to squeeze through. With a deep breath, not looking back, I jump into it and land in the Makai.

Unfortunately, not even two days pass when I find myself being chased down by demons, recognizing me as working for Lord Koenma.

Depressing that these ugly creatures would remember me when the only person who ever meant anything to me wouldn't.

One unsheathes a sword and swings it, slicing me deeply on my back. Pain sears through my entire body like fire as my whole body tenses up, as to try to make my muscles and skin too hard to pierce.

Blood from my wound quickly pools around me, staining my clothes, only to the pleasure of the demons standing above me.

_And if I bleed, I'll bleed,_

_Knowing you don't care._

_And if I sleep just to dream of you_

_I'll wake without you there,_

_Isn't something missing?_

_Isn't something..._

I vainly try to crawl away from my attackers. They only laugh and one slams his foot down on my back, making me cry out in pain. I whimper in pain and fear as more never ending tears fall to the ground. I start trembling as the demons ask if I'll give up any Spirit World secrets in exchange for my life. Then I realize, what's the point? What's the point of struggling to live when there's nothing left to fight for? He wouldn't care, as far as he knows, I'm only a girl he's seen once or twice, weakly healing his friends.

The thought acts as an anesthetic, numbing and relaxing my body, and I feel no more pain.

The demons seem to sense that I won't talk, and just drives his sword through my back, through my heart. My natural anesthetic can't seem to block this new wave of fresh pain for the mere seconds before I die.

For those seconds, my mind conjures up a picture of him smirking, that wonderful smirk on his face that I would've given anything to see one last time.

_Hiei... I love you._ is the last thought that runs through my mind before black blocks my vision and I submerge into nothingness. _I hope he'll miss me... even the tiniest bit..._

_Even though I'm the sacrifice,_

_You won't try for me, not now._

_Though I'd die to know you love me,_

_I'm all alone._

_Isn't someone missing me?_


End file.
